


Gravitation

by oly_chic



Series: Prowl Week 2020 [6]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, prowl week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23821105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oly_chic/pseuds/oly_chic
Summary: Even taking time off from ongoing affairs by sequestering himself away on Luna 1 Prowl still can't find the peace he hoped to have. Red Alert can appreciate what he means.
Series: Prowl Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709596
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32
Collections: Prowl Week





	Gravitation

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Peace"
> 
> TFWiki puts the timeline together where Sins of the Wreckers comes before MTMTE issue #56.
> 
> Prompt answer is based on this image from MTMTE #57:  
> 
> 
> I don't own Transformers

There was always monitor duty, just like in the old orns, Prowl told himself as he considered his options. Another night of restless recharge attempts was too frustrating to try again. Red Alert was on monitor duty but maybe he could argue his way into switching roles.

“Hello Red Alert,” Prowl greeted as kindly as he could when he entered the room. “How is monitor duty?”

Red Alert looked up from where he was sitting. “Hi Prowl. It’s smooth so far. What are you doing here?”

“I figured there was a likelihood monitor duty would be boring for the time being. Since boredom can be tiresome, perhaps I might relieve you of that.”

Red Alert quirked an optic ridge. “Now you’re not only staying here but you’re offering to do mundane jobs? The Prowl I knew would never do that.”

“I’m trying to be different during this sabbatical.”

“I guess so,” Red Alert said nonplussed. “Well I have nothing else to do, and I’m not really tired, but it is hard to keep shifting between everything that needs monitoring. Don’t forget we have numerous space bridges here, and transmissions/communications to keep up on. How about we split it? I’ll focus on what’s inside here, and you focus on outside.”

“Acceptable.” Prowl sat down a chair’s length away from Red Alert. Out of the corner of his optic he could see Red Alert slowly becoming uncomfortable.

“So…” Red Alert started, “what has you willing to try being different by trying the mundane?”

He weighed his options of truth and lies, but the truth was that he was tired of the lies. “My efforts to find peace in recharge elude me.”

Red Alert nodded. “Recharge has suddenly become difficult for me, too,” he dryly commented.

Prowl considered what to say next. “Sentinel Prime?” He figured he might as well get the Omega Supreme sized issue out of the way.

Red Alert’s hands clenched and unclenched. “Yes. I finally have the answer to why I’ve had these problems for so long, but all it cost me was to have someone trigger a mind control switch within my brain module.”

Prowl pressed his lips, for he sympathized but didn’t know how to _show_ sympathy. Perhaps he could try expressing empathy. “There’s a certain lack of peace when someone violates your mind. I’ve been there.”

He glanced at Prowl. “You know what it’s like to be a sleeper for someone’s evil plans?” Red Alert sounded like he was genuinely asking.

“Not as a sleeper agent. I suppose you’ve been out of the loop, although I suspect that’s because Chromedome hid his crime from the rest of the _Lost Light_ ,” Prowl bitterly started before stopping. When he saw a bewildered expression on Red Alert’s face he elaborated. “Chromedome used mnemosurgery on me against my will.” He tapped the back of his neck while recalling the scars. “That gave Bombshell all he needed to take over my mind.”

There was silence after Prowl finished and Prowl wondered if he overshared. That would be a first.

“I’m sorry,” Red Alert broke the silence with a sincere apology.

“Sorry for what?”

“I shot you and you nearly died. With everything that happened between Sentinel taking control over me and then his death, I forgot how it started. I remember how it ended, though, with me seeing those scars on your neck.”

Prowl stopped looking at the screen and turned to look at Red Alert and saw his guilt. There was sadness in his optics as well as the guilt. “I hurt someone when I was under Bombshell’s control as well. I can understand the pain of someone forcing you to do something you wouldn’t under normal circumstances.”

The former security director looked down for a klik before turning back to Prowl. “What’s something you wanted to do while you were under control that you weren’t able to do? I’m not talking about fighting back, but like an experience you wanted.”

“Where did that question come from?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to answer it, even if his mind was eager to think about it.

“I figured we could stand to be less morose,” he said with a shrug.

“And that means pining for what was lost?”

“Would you rather talk about hopes and dreams?”

Prowl scoffed at the idea of something so naïve sounding. “Fine, if I were to think of what I missed while under mind control it would be… it would be how I missed a chance to spend it with someone I hardly knew beyond a profile during the war. She became important to me as a usable soldier, and at some point it was more than that.” That was oversharing and he cut himself off.

“’She?’ Not many of those,” Red Alert noted.

Prowl frowned and turned back to his console. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

“No wait, I didn’t mean that in some negative way. I just got stuck for a klik on the unusual part. What do you consider more than just a usable soldier?” The last two words were emphasized, but Prowl ignored it. He knew his reputation.

“I believe they call it being friends,” he said lightly, trying to make it sound like a joke. When Red Alert looked at him with befuddlement instead, Prowl sobered up. “It just was different, that’s all.”

“Oh okay – wait a breem, we’re picking up a transmission. Probably nothing for us, but I just want to make sure.”

Prowl appreciated the break in where the conversation was going. However, with nothing happening on his monitors, it was hard to not think more where the conversation was heading about his partnership with Arcee. Their brand of affection between each other hadn’t been exactly what others would consider affectionate, and yet it had worked. Sometimes they recharged together so that they could take turns guarding one another, and the recharging one fell asleep feeling the touch of their protector. She was his safety net, and one who knew how to cajole him out of his darker moods.

There had also been honesty between them. Honesty was something he’d thrown completely to the wayside during the war to safeguard his many secrets. When the war ended he still had secrets, but at least with Arcee he didn’t have to maintain them in her presence – even if their partnership itself was a secret. Being honest with her should have ended when she betrayed him by publicly telling Bumblebee about the assassination he orchestrated, but he couldn’t bring himself to despise her.

That was then, and he ended up losing her anyways in the aftermath of Taratulas. Now he was back to being without someone trusted.

Really all he wanted to do was lay down against her side and listen to her try comforting him. She was no good at it but she tried. He softly smiled at the memories of her trying and utterly failing in a way that humored him more than insulted him.

“What are you smiling about?” Red Alert interrupted.

“Nothing in particular,” he lied.

“Maybe thinking of friends?” Red Alert guessed. “I know when I get that smile it’s because I’m thinking of my friends on the _Lost Light_ , or my friends here. I miss the _Lost Light_ a lot, but Fort Max and Cerebros are good company. Who do you miss?”

Bitterness overcame Prowl. Besides Arcee choosing to be out of his life, Bumblebee was permanently gone and his gestalt was taken from him. Before he could stop himself, his bitterness spoke. “No one. There’s no one to miss anymore.”

Immediately disgust filled him for letting that out and he ducked his helm. When had he become so weak?. Pining for Arcee, lonesome without his gestalt, and now oversharing with those who used to serve under him. An officer should never overshare, wartime or no.

His self-loathing was cut short when a shoulder touch startled him. He looked up and saw Red Alert standing over him. The sight and realization of someone touching him caused him to instinctually flinch as if bracing himself for impact.

Red Alert tilted his helm and furrowed his optics in concern. “Is something wrong?”

Only that he was used to be hit, kicked, or harmed in some way when everyone but Arcee or his gestalt touched him. Prowl turned away, further embarrassed. “I must be reaching a very tired stage. I think it’s time for me to try recharging again.”

Instead of removing his hand Red Alert gave a hesitant and soft squeeze. “Prowl… I might not know what caused that flinch, but I know what it’s like to have someone trigger a reaction from you without your consent. Mind control or no.”

“You might think you understand me, but you know nothing, even now,” Prowl snapped.

Red Alert dropped his hand. “Why did you do that? Why do you always do that, ruin moments of possible friendships with your abrasive attitude?”

Prowl was taken aback. “I am not – I don’t try to be abrasive. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Okay then,” Red Alert said and turned around to resume his duties.

Despite his words Prowl knew deep down exactly what Red Alert meant and that he was indeed abrasive. He was lying again, and wasn’t he sick of the lies? Something about how he wasn’t finding peace amongst all the lies? The silence stretched on between them, and Prowl’s guilt at automatically falling back to lying and acting difficult ate at him.

Finally he offered an olive branch. “Perhaps I do know what you’re talking about. I am not easily likable when compared to others.”

Red Alert stopped and looked at him. “I bet that’s been a problem.”

“It wasn’t during the war, or so I thought.” Actually, he never thought about how important likability was to him until Taratulas forced the positive reinforcement prison on him (aside from getting the troops to listen to him). Those dreams haunted him, for it told him all he wanted was validation from others – but it wasn’t enough to just be validated, he realized. Validation was key, but it wouldn’t help his recharge at night. The only thing that had helped in a long time was Arcee’s brand of affection, and his solace in her affection validated him almost just as much as dreaming of Optimus thanking him for saving Cybertron. “I suppose it only came to light recently that it was ever a problem. Friendships aren’t easy for me. They require trust first, and supposedly the reward is constantly striving to keep their validation of you.”

“Constantly striving for validation? Wait, what do you think trust looks like?”

“Following my advice on how to run an army, how to run the rebuilding Cybertron.”

It was Red Alert’s turn to frown. “Not what I meant. I meant in general.”

“I don’t know. If I knew I would be recharging. I guess that’s the answer; the trust I missed the most is having someone to stay with me when I recharge, and vice versa. They trust me as I trust them.”

Prowl expected Red Alert to say something about losing that trust was retribution deserved, but he didn’t. Rather, he pursed his lips thoughtfully. “I see. What you call validation is just an ongoing sense that you can trust and be trusted, and trust to you looks something almost affectionate. It’s almost like validation through affection.”

Prowl was about to object but Red Alert’s pause was too brief. He continued, “I can understand that. There was a time when my sense of validation was tied to affection and approval, too.”

The revelation left Prowl speechless. What did one say to that? Without any familiarity in such delicate matters, Prowl remained quiet.

It was Red Alert who broke the silence this time. “Prowl, Cerebros will be here in less than a joor. If you aren’t able to recharge yet, maybe you can join me in my quarters for a movie? You’ll just need to give me a breem to find one.”

For a moment Prowl questioned was sort of agenda was Red Alert hiding. Then he thought about the point of the conversation as he understood it and decided to try trusting it wasn’t a trick. “That sounds pleasant.”

“Good.”

* * *

Prowl knocked on Red Alert’s door and Red Alert answered. “Come in.”

“Thanks,” Prowl walked in and felt awkward. Movie nights were never something he tried. “What are we watching?”

Red Alert held up a case. “This. It’s has what Cerebros calls a ‘warm and fuzzy’ plot.”

“I don’t think that’s my type of movie, but I don’t watch movies.”

“Then I guess you’re going to find out for sure.”

He had set them up to sit on the pillow-heavy couch, and Red Alert ushered Prowl over to it. “I set up the pillows to be comfortable for a Praxian, or what I understand is comfortable to one.”

Aligning them carefully with his doorwings, Prowl made himself comfortable with ease. “Thank you.”

Red Alert sat down next to Prowl, close enough they were almost touching but any further away would put Red Alert halfway up the side pillows so Prowl dismissed it. His dismissal of Red Alert’s position started to become questionable as Red Alert’s thigh brushed his a few breems into the movie. Then it became really questionable when Red Alert’s arm moved above his doorwings but behind his shoulders.

Was this normal during a movie? Prowl readjusted himself and Red Alert took the opportunity to tighten his arm around him. That was too much for Prowl, but instead of pushing himself away he asked, “What are you doing?”

The red mech answered, “Rung taught me a lot, including how to feel out my own emotions and others around me. I never really thought of intimacy before the _Lost Light_ , and I don’t mean strictly romantic intimacy but intimacy that comes through understanding and trust. There’s not much between you and me, but I think there’s a chance for there to be something. What wrongs we share can be fixed if we trust to share a better future. Even if it’s just through platonic affection, I think we could both use that.”

Red Alert turned back to watch the movie, leaving Prowl to decide how to act. Prowl listened to Red Alert’s words and felt the wistful pulse in his spark. Wordlessly Prowl relaxed into Red Alert’s shoulder so he could wrap his arm around him better. Relaxation set in but he didn’t want to recharge just yet because he didn’t fully trust Red Alert yet – but perhaps he could one orn. Perhaps he could find it within himself to build trust in someone again.


End file.
